You’re Such a Jerk..Said The Voice in My Head!
Being called a jerk can really hurt!! Especially when it comes from your OWN HEAD!
Let me paint a picture for you. You are doing your very best to keep your cool in a situation, maybe it’s with your kids or with your significant other. Something has happened to get the emotions flowing between you and the other person(s). You’re feeling like you have everything under control, until the other party says or does something that just makes you SNAP!! You end up yelling at the other person and saying something that you totally regret. Now you not only see that you have hurt that other person’s feelings, you begin right into your own put-down-yourself party in your head. “You’re such a jerk!” comes the expression and it sounds like your own voice. Or, you may be experiencing another voice in your head, maybe it’s your mother, your father, a teacher, or just another voice you can’t even identify.
Does this scenario sound familiar? Have you been here before? How many times have you repeated this same pattern over and over again in your life? How many times have you hurt one of your loved ones, totally regretting your behavior soon after?
Being a “jerk” is something that all of us have been through at one time or another, and we have had to go through the process of getting forgiveness from those we were a jerk to. The real problem with being a jerk though comes when we can’t or won’t forgive ourselves and we hold on to that statement as our actual identity. When we take on that identity, our brains begin to form evidences to prove that we really are a jerk, which then starts to frame our minds to looks for reasons to be a jerk, which eventually causes us to be more reactive, more angry, more irritable with no real reason to be and feel that way.
Do you tend to be more on the angry, irritable, reactive side of things in your life? Do you want to stop this process? How quickly do you want to have things change?
Here is one simple solution to solving this automatic behavior you are dealing with: it’s called Afformations.
An Afformation (notice it’s not Affirm with an “I” it’s Afform with an “O”) is a why statement you make to get your mind to start forming evidence for the statement you are giving it. Whenever you ask yourself a question, the brain will do all it can to find evidence or an answer for that question. Now, following our jerk example above, you probably have noticed that when you have had that jerk moment, you may have asked yourself, “Why am I such a jerk?” or “why can’t I stop this pattern in my life?” or “Why do I do this over and over again?” Since our brains are programmed to answer any question we ask ourselves, what are we doing to ourselves by asking questions like the ones I just mentioned? We are asking our brains to find reasons why we are a jerk and why we should continue to be a jerk!!!
So, if you want to start down the path of changing this pattern in your life, start with asking better questions, questions like, “why am I such a patient and kind person?” or “why am I calm and collective no matter what is going on?” Can you see the power behind asking these type of questions? Can you feel how empowered you would become in asking these type of questions?
Of course, I realize like most things in life, when it comes to creating lasting change and transformation with patterns like we’ve been talking about, it is always easier said than done. One of the reasons for this is that many times we aren’t able to clearly see the self sabotaging patterns we are dealing with that keep us in these patterns. Gaining clarity usually takes an outside source or voice. Our team, the outside voice, is ready to help you gain clarity and understanding of the patterns you are stuck in so you can finally beat those patterns and start creating the results you really want in your life. If you are ready for an outside voice to help you out, and you are ready for clarity in your life, then book a free clarity call with our team. www.mypowercompass.com/apply
Have fun creating and using your Afformations and let us know how it goes with your new state of mind and how it feels to start seeing yourself through the eyes of a kind, patient person:)
Your Mentor and Friend,